Thursday, December 5, 2013

Yikes...Two Months Have Gone By...

Wow...It's hard to believe it's been 2 months since I posted here on my blog. They always say that time flies by when you're having fun...REALLY??? It's still chaotic here...just taking it day by day. A friend sent me an email this morning. I was so glad to get it. It absolutely cracked me's hoping it makes you laugh as well. BTW...I'm Catholic so no harm or disrespect intended...

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12..

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10...

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,"Take this and eat it for this is my body.." He did not say,"Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Well, what did ya think? Hilarious...right???


  1. Great post and blog(: your newest follower GFC/bloglovin coming by via B/H please return the favor

  2. Hello there Glenda. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Just visited your lovely site as well. Those bib necklaces are just gorgeous. Following u via FGC.

  3. lolol "Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry" kml so funny. Where do people get these things lolol.

    I'm a new follower to your blog via fun friday blog hop.

  4. Pleasure to meet you Neisha! I must have offended some folks with this post...only 2 people commented. I'm Catholic and I still thought it was funny. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. Just went to your page and am now following via GFC.